


Not My Soulmate

by PanteaBooks19



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, F/M, Implied/Referenced Torture, Platonic Soulmates, Romantic Soulmates, Soulmate-Identifying Marks, Soulmates
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-30
Updated: 2020-02-15
Packaged: 2021-02-27 10:20:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 4,716
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22475503
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PanteaBooks19/pseuds/PanteaBooks19
Summary: Soulmate marks were only ever supposed to bring joy. For Pidge it just feels cruel. She knows her chances of love and despises them for being so high. Her mark, well the one on her hand feels more like a curse than a blessing. As cruel as she may think it is, she will soon discover just how cruel one marking can be.
Relationships: Allura & Lance (Voltron), Allura & Pidge | Katie Holt, Allura/Keith (Voltron), Keith & Pidge | Katie Holt, Lance & Pidge | Katie Holt, Lance/Pidge | Katie Holt, Lotor & Pidge | Katie Holt
Comments: 13
Kudos: 50





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you all enjoy the story that I probably will cry while writing multiple times

Pidge knew she was lucky. Hard not to when you have two soul marks and only one glows after all. She knew how lucky she was Keith was a platonic one. It meant at least she wouldn't have two rivaling romances.  
Pidge stared at her black hand mournfully. She may have been lucky but she felt cursed. It wasn't rare that the black mark weighed heavily on heart. "Why couldn't Keith be my only soulmate," Pidge wondered to herself more often than she cared to admit.  
"Pidge, I really, really like you. Would you be my date at the ball tonight," Lance asked spoiling the life out of the poor gremlin.  
Pidge gasped as she spun around to face her crush. He was invading her hanger but she didn't even care. She loved him like Keith loved Allura. "I-" Pidge blushed as she brushed her hair behind her ear. That damn mark right in her face. "I want to but it wouldn't be right."  
Lance groaned as he plopped on to the chair beside his best friend. "You've always said that. You have to know me and Allura are platonic. I doubt you missed her making out with Keith. It's not like platonic soul mates are that rare. So why, why won't you take a risk"  
Pidge gulped turning her head away from Lance. She'd been dodging his flirting for months. "Lance, my soulmate,"  
Lance interrupted with anger. "Could easily be platonic."  
"Because I've never heard of someone with two platonic soulmates Lance! Keith may only have one but I have two! Like you said. It's obvious were platonic with the way I tease him and Allura! And of course I want to Lance. I want to take the chance but what happens when I meet that soulmate. There's only a 25% chance he'll be platonic. I don't want to break our hearts more than I have too! Why can't you understand that," Pidge snapped as the tears burned her skin.  
Lance just sat frozen in the chair. His face would be silly in other circumstances. When both their hearts were getting ripped out there was nothing funny about it.  
"I didn't know you and Keith were."  
Pidge sighed as she took off her boot. "I don't show my toes that often. First time we touched he was being a brat to Shiro who I may or may not have had a tiny crush on and kicked him in the shin. I actually broke my middle toe. Then Shiro and my family kept trying to get us to date. We are soulmates or well we prefer the term saltmates. We salty about so many of the same things. It's how we bonded. Being salty about the way they were pushing us. How Iverson acted. But yeah this mark belongs to him. The mark on my hand I doubt is just a friend."  
Lance groaned. "So there's like no chance this could end well."  
Pidge sighed as she took his hand in hers. "If I meet my soulmate and we end up platonic I'll let you know. Till then I don't want to even hope for us. It'd hurt to much to be wrong."  
Lance sighed as he stood up and handed her his jacket. "Return it when you're ready for that risk. I'll be waiting. Guess it's another solo ball for me."  
Pidge bit her lip, clenching his jacket. She spoke just as he reached the door. "Video games after?"  
Lance emitted a laugh tho no one could say if he was crying or laughing. Pidge, let go ashamed of herself. "Yeah, I'll leave my door unlocked."  
Pidge sighed as she clutched the jacket to her chest. "I'm a monster. Asking Lance to not  
Love me and to not leave me. It's sickeningly cruel. Not like we could get much distance but still… I will have to let him go one day, I know that, and yet I love him more with every breath," Pidge admitted only to herself.


	2. A mind hurts more than the body sometimes.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Me describing Pidge being in pain the best i can wiithout repeating myself too much

"Pidge, can I ask you something," Allura asked in her cheery voice though it seemed more strained than normal.   
Pidge glanced up at the princess in the striking garbs the chief of this planet had given here. The beautiful water like blue material flowing into the pink strips of fabric.  
Pidge took the laptop off of her fancy dress and patted for Allura to sit on the bench beside her. The sun was setting and they'd leave for the ball soon. It was the third one this month.  
"Allura, what can I do for you?"  
Allura bit her lip as she sat down. Dress floating as if magic. "I hate to be so nosy but the mice have told me there have been a couple of um nights when Keith entered your room and didn't leave for hours. I hate being jealous but if somethi-"  
Pidge laughed as she caught up to where the princess was headed. Her green flowy dress swaying with her laughter. "Keith is my soulmate princess. I've been having…. Some difficult decisions on my mind to do with my other soulmate and it's… the bond won't let him sleep when I'm so sorrowful. He merely comes to my room and calms me down so maybe we can get an hour of sleep. That's all it is. We've known for years and I can't think of one time where either of us flirted with each other. You have my blessing to chase Keith as much as you desire. I think you will make an amazing couple," Pidge praised as she patted the princess' back in an awkward attempt at affection.   
Allura breathed a sigh of relief before returning to her normal level of chipper. "So then Pidge. What decision do you have to make? You haven't even met your other soulmate." Allura reminded with a tap on the marked hand.  
Pidge glanced at the floor. She wanted to cry from how much she loved him. If only this stupid mark didn't haunt her. "I-"  
"Paladin's get to the black and green lion! It's time to celebrate another victory!"  
Pidge meekly smiled before racing off to her hanger. All too eager to escape such a repetitive conversation. She was sick of being locked on the stupid matter of a soulmate and love. She just wanted to think about something else for once. To be happy for just a second without lingering guilt.  
"I just want to breathe again," Pidge thought to herself as she opened green for Hunk and Coran.


	3. Chapter 3

Pidge had felt many forms of anger by now. Yet still she had never felt such overwhelming fury. It burned through her veins with a strength she had never dealt with before. All centered at one sole man.  
Lotor stood cuffed and being tugged along by Keith. Far too slow for Pidge's taste. She couldn't stand it! This man had harmed everyone she loved. "He should be dead not imprisoned." Pidge thought to herself.  
Pidge hissed crossing her arms as Shiro opened the door to the prison. Lotor daring to cast a glance at Pidge was the final tipping point. With a growl Pidge snatched Lotor by his annoyingly bright hair. In a much speedier pace Pidge dragged the Prince by his white hair. With more fury than she cared to admit Pidge tossed him into the light cell. Locking it in mere seconds.  
Perhaps she would have cared about the tingling sensation coming from her hand if she was not so blinded by her passionate hatred. If only she glanced back at the prisoner or her own hand. She would have realized just how much of a curse her hand truly was.  
The two soul mates may have been too absorbed in their own minds but everyone else saw. Everyone else was thinking clearly enough to recognize what the sudden glow on her hand and his hair meant .  
Lotor noticed it first. The black hand suddenly glowing like a jewel. He burst into an evil cackle as he threw his head back. His shoulder covering his mark from Pidge when she turned to face him.  
A sickening sly smile came to his lips as stared at ceiling. "Well then.... I think that proves you can trust me don't you? After all that's not how you're meant to treat your soulmate. Tell me lover, how long are you going to take to free me?"  
Pidge growled as she took a threatening step toward him. Her finger pointing at him as she spoke. "Who the quiznac do you think you're talking to?! Getting dragged into a cell does not prove anything about you! Other than maybe cut down on the calories?" Pidge snarled as she shook with fury. Still not noticing the glow now directly infront of her.  
Lot or merely cackled again before lowering his head. His hair shining now with the new colors in addition to the stark white he was born with.  
Pidge gasped in horror as she realized what he meant. Her hand felt like it was burning with the ire she faced it with. Her own body betraying her. "I... i-" Pidge ran out of the room to the for once conviently placed trashcan.   
The room could hear her as she hurled everything out of her system. Silent discussions traveling across their faces all at once. All the while Lotor merely smiled to himself.

Pidge felt her blood turn to ice when a gentle hand touched her shoulder as she dry heaved over the trashcan. She turned far to quickly and came face to face with her soulmate.  
Pidge barely turned her head in time to continue puking into the trash can. She shook violently as the calm hand rubbed her back.   
"If only soulmates didn't exist" Pidge thought to herself. The thought dripping with venom.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay. Went through a mental fog for a minute. But I'm back

Pidge gasped for air as her arms laid across the trashcans top. She steadied herself before speaking. She couldn't bring herself to look at Keith.  
"Can they hear me from in there?"  
Keith sighed as his hand dropped from her shoulder. "Yes. Shiro... everyone agrees that.... we'll leave his freedom up to you."  
Pidge shook her head lightly. "You mean to test my loyalty right? See if I'll instantly let him go just because of some mark? I don't even want him alive. Why? Why would the soul binder make me ruin so Much for a man so awful. I tried to be a good soulmate and in return I get a monster! Society will hate me for hating him. The leaders won't trust me if I try to bond with him. I don't know what to do Keith! I love Lance but is it even right? Do I still owe Lotor a chance?"  
Keith sighed again. "If anyone is the worse soulmate it's me. I don't even know how to comfort you. "  
Pidge looked up him too tired to wipe her tears. "Keith, you try. That's what matters. I think... I just need to be alone. When you can't see me anymore tell the others I say to keep Lotor in the cell and feed him a failed cooking experiment for dinner."  
Keith nodded with a somber smile as his soulmate weakly walked off. Her hair the last thing to disappear. He could help but feel horrible. He couldn't even help his soulmate. With a reluctant defeat Keith walked back into the prison.  
Lance ran up to Keith. "Is she okay? She's going to be okay right?! She puked a lot. do you think we should get her food? Is she alright? Did she start talking science cause if so she was just dodging-"  
"She'll be okay Lance," Keith assured with a pat on the shoulder. He continued down the catwalk to where lotor's cell stood. He leered towards the wall of light. "Pidge says you'll stay here and a failed experiment of hunk's will be your dinner."  
Lotor chuckled dryly. "So my mate is smart. It doesn't matter. No one can resist the soul bound for long "  
Keith glared at the prisoner but couldn't retort. He didn't know what to do. This was his soulmate's soulmate. He brooding pushed past everyone else and left the dungeon.  
"Pidge loves her family. She's more likely to kill you then release you," Lance snapped before trotting off toward the pool.  
"Why does she even need him as a soulmate'" Lance growled the thought as he leaped into the cool refreshing water


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoy

Pidge sighed for the hundredth time much to the annoyance of Kaltenecker who just wanted to eat in peace. "Sorry, baby girl. I just… I don't know what to do. Does rejecting my soulmate make me a bad person? Do I even owe him a chance?"  
"Moo," Kaltenecker replied not that anyone really spoke cow.  
"I don't think so- eh well perhaps I'm being too salty," Allura confessed as she walked across the field.  
Pidge glanced at the princess with an seemingly uncaring eye. "Princess i highly doubt you have any idea what I'm going through," Pidge snapped as she turned away from the princess.  
Allura sighed with a slight chuckle as she sat beside Pidge on the only log in the room. "You'd be surprised how well I do. Of course he never quite tortured like Lotor. At least I hope he didn't." Allura sighed heavily and patted Pidge's shoulder gently. "Because I never got to kill him."  
Pidge's eyes just about snapped out of her skull. How her neck didn't break with the turn of her head is a miracle and a mystery. "What?!"  
It was Allura's turn to turn her head away from the conversation. It was never easy to face pain, shame and hatred like this. "I loved a man once before Keith. He was handsome. Saved my life many times. The only thing he stole from… then at least was my heart. His hand… I was proud to be the cause of it's glow. He caught me as I tripped on his first day… it was all dreadfully romantic. He was so sweet. He flirted with but no one else. It wasn't too surprising my father agreed to our marriage." Allura sighed heavily again as she turned even further away from Pidge.  
"You had two soulmates," Pidge observed more than asked as she let her hand rest above her friends. She didn't have to see her face. The shake of her body revealed she was crying all on it's own.   
"My father called him son! My father the King had ignored the nobles' wishes and set up our wedding shamelessly. Inviting every noble and voltron member. 10,000 years ago a week before I was to be wed Zarkon arrived." Allura stood up keeping her back to Pidge.  
"A week before our wedding My father begged my soulmate to stay with me! To survive with me!. He said no. He spoke so valiantly of how he was still a shoulder and had to fight for his home. When I went to sleep I was proud of my soulmate as much as I mourned him."  
Pidge felt her heart reach out to the princess but was slightly confused, what this had to do with her situation. A dark and fake laugh bubbled out of the normally cherry Princess.   
"I wonder what my father's face was when the sword of his son went through his spine and twisted. Did he live long enough to feel the swing as my soulmate chopped his head off. The castle it has exterior cameras. It recorded that battle. It took quite a bit of search through to get to 10,000 years ago. I had three cameras footage running backward speed up by twenty for a month before I reached it. I had to fast forward cause when I went to check it had gone past the battle to a few days before. I saw my soulmate grinning as he chopped my father's head off. I got my hands on a galran history book. He was written in their. He became a general for Zarkon. He tore through his own men and kind. He killed the man who called him son. He killed my father! And he got to die in bed at an old age with a wife and children. He deserved to die by my blade. He deserved a traitor's death!"  
Pidge held her breath as she saw Allura for the first time ever shake with anger. The princess' hands were clenched into fist as waves of hatred rolled of her.  
"I loved him and he didn't deserve that. My first soulmate… He acted so much like Lance but at the end of the day that's all it was. An act. If he loved his country he wouldn't have chopped off his king's head! So I understand the guilt, the shame, the anger that comes with hatred for your soulmate. The anger at society and yourself. It took me awhile but I've realized even monsters have soul mates. It doesn't mean they deserve to be loved," Allura's voice was cold as her body finally stopped shaking. With a single exhale the tension left her body.  
"Lance now that…. That's a good man. He may be bound by soul to me, but he is bound by love, choice and heart to you. That's more powerful than any black or glowing mark. I know you feel that same bond towards him. The one unique to you two but similar to me and Keith. Screw the Soul binder! He may have control of our souls but he has no say in our hearts and mind. So what if he's not you're soulmate. You are bound by love that you both chose. You don't need a soul connection when your minds and heart are so connected Pidge. So what if Lotor is your soulmate he's a monster. No one should be forced to love a monster."  
Pidge smiled at Allura as she embraced her. "So it's okay right? I'm allowed to hate and love as my heart choses?"  
Allura pulled the much smaller girl into her arms. "We all are. We always have been. We always will be."  
The two females stayed there in the standing embrace for who knows how long. They both needed this. Someone who understood the pain of a monster for a soulmate.  
"I wish everyone knew they had a choice in love," Allura wistfully thought to herself as her own tears silently dripped onto Pidge's shoulder.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took so long. I really wanted to make sure it flowed right. I see Allura and Pidge as like Space sisters. I feel like every light has a darkness behind it. I also believe in irl everyone does have a soulmate. The only reason we have no marks is so we don't get judged for not loving a monster or an abuser.


	6. My choice

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There will be an epilogue

Pidge for the millionth time raised her hand to knock to only drop it once more. Hours had literally passed since she arrived at his door. Her heart, still beating as rapidly as when she arrived. Her eyes dropped to the floor. A defeated sigh escaping her lips.   
A swoosh made Pidge's heart stop. Even with knowing his choice she couldn't breath. She wanted to pull the jacket tighter around her but she was simply too frozen. She didn't have to look up to know he was shocked.  
Lance sighed before stepping away from the door. "You want to come in?"  
Pidge bit her lip before turning her head to the side away from him. Her eyes avoiding him like the sun. "Actually, no…"  
Lance sighed and scratched his head. The soft jazz only now registering in Pidge's head as it floated from his room. "Pidge, I love seeing you but why are you here? Why are you here in my jacket making it look way better than it ever did on me? Why," Lance whispered the last word. As if it were a secret only between them.  
Pidge bit her lip again as it popped out between her teeth just as quickly. She pulled the jacket tighter around her. "You aren't getting this back. I like the smell of you on it. I like the comfort it gives me when I can't quite go to you. In fact you'll probably lose plenty more jackets in time… hoodies and shirts too…"  
Lance bit his lip as he dared to move closer to the girl standing his doorway. In his jacket. He could smell the peanut butter and metal scent she naturally admitted. "What are you saying Pidge?"  
Pidge bit her lip again causing it to split and bleed a little. With a deep inhale she forced herself to face him. She felt like she was going to faint with how hard her heart was beating.  
"Come with me," Pidge felt her heart stop again but forced herself to walk towards the destination. "I want you there when I do this."  
Lance followed silently in his lion slippers. His own heart rivalong the pace of Pidge's. He couldn't help but stare at her with sleepy confusion. He wanted to hope but as they drew closer to the dungeon it died. He wanted to run from the truth. So at least then he'd have a chance.   
Pidge glanced back when she felt her heart chill a little. She smiled weakly at Lance in an attempt to ease him. She reached for his hand and pulled him alongside her to the light prison.  
The prisoner was asleep his hair glowing the same pastel colors that made Pidge throw up not that long ago. "Wake up. I'd like to talk with you," Pidge commanded.  
As expected of any person in a war he did so almost immediately. "Why hello there," Lot or ran a hand through his hair with a smirk upon his purple lips.  
Pidge smirked right back. She felt pride in knowing she would soon wipe that smirk off his disgusting face. "You know I've let this mark keep me from Lance, a man who loves me. What do I get in return? Hmm?"  
Lance gulped feeling as if a target had just been painted on his back. "Does Pidge want me dead," Lance couldn't help but wonder as the Prince glared at him.  
"A Prince who can help you save your father. An ally-"  
"A sick and cruel joke. I put one of the most important things in my life on the line and all I got was a monster. I got an enemy who can only hurt the cause I fight for. You? You waited ten thousand years for a woman who will only see the scars you left on her brother, when she looks at you. Who will only see the death you've caused. The one who will see you as nothing but a nuisance who isn't worth her time." Pidge snarled as she leaned toward the cell threateningly."  
"A soulmate is nothing but someone else's choice. A soul is part of someone sure. So is there heart and mind. No soulbinding can change those. My heart has only belonged to one person. Only one man have I ever wished to make my body glow. Only one. Only Lance who I love more than myself. Who I would lay my life down for without even thinking. Because Lance is the only man I've ever been in love with so much that physically hurt. I feel like a fool for over estimating how important something so stupid as a mark is. Because a love chosen is far more powerful than any arranged love forced by a stranger," Pidge informed with a strength that flowed through her veins.  
"Goodbye Prince Lotor. Just don't forget. One word from me and you die. Try to harm the one I love and I won't hesitate," Pidge warned as she walked back to Lance with a smile. All too happy as she laced her fingers with him. Her cheeks burning from the sight of his grin.  
"I'm your soulmate," Lotor snarled as he beat against the soulmate. "You'll never resist the bond. You'll love me one day."  
Pidge groaned and turned back to face the prisoner. "I won't be prisoner to any bond. No magic curse will ever be strong enough to make me love you. Not when I have him who doesn't need any soulbinding magic to have my heart, my mind, my choice."  
Lance pulled Pidge into a hug. "You have me too. You always have Katie."  
Pidge beamed at Lance. "Let's leave this prisoner. It's his choice to wear the chain of a soulmark. I've taken mine off."  
"I did it! I stood up for what I want," Pidge thought proudly to herself as she sat down to play video games with lance. "He's not my soulmate but he will always be my choice."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you all enjoyed. Let me know if there's anything you want to see in the epilogue. I'll right it as soon as I can. I have a special surprise for you all that will be in it.


	7. Epilogue

Pidge glanced over to where Keith was watching a couple kids. One even belonged to him and Allura. He looked miserable but the kids were enjoying themselves. Pidge sighed as she turned to look at the building in front of her.

Yes, Voltron saved the universe but this? She was much prouder of this then defeating Zarkon or Haggar. This would last past any empire, past any war. This would change the world for the better.

The soulmates and choice center. It was built to help people like me and Allura. To help the ones tied to monsters and abusers. To end the stigma of leaving a bad soulmate. The funding had taken forever to get but now their dream was a reality. Even if the peace ends Pidge had her name on something more important than any way.

She glanced over at her co-founder who was chatting to a lady with bruises all along her neck and face. Her mouth glowing the soulmate glow. Allura smiled gently as she soothed the crying woman.

Lance interrupting the view as he guided a man toward the med bay. Lace smiled at Pidge before refocusing on the injured man. After all, anyone can have a bad soulmate.

Pidge walked over to Allura when the woman started to head off in the direction of the main hall. "Opening day and already helping a lot of people."

Allura nodded with a smile as she surveyed the group of people chatting amongst each other. Getting what they needed most. Understanding. "I just wish we could reach more."

Pidge smiled bitterly. "We have one pilot in every quadrant. Until we can get another base it's the best we can do. Have the Balmarens sent any word?"

Allura nodded at a frail woman as she passed. "One balmera did. Well they sent a diplomat but she's been busy talking to Hunk. We'll talk later when things are a bit quieter."

Pidge nodded her agreement as she cast a smile at a group looking at her. "Lifelong friends will be made here. I can feel it. You were right about stationing security further into the sky. It would have made everyone here too nervous to talk."

Allura nodded diligently at the crowd moving around them. "I'm glad we can at least help these people. On old Altea too! So when are you going to tell everyone why your belly is growing?"

Pidge chuckled as she surveyed the group for any soulmates trying to sneak in. It was a danger just like any other. They had to protect these people. "Yeah Rovier is about to have a sister. We were thinking Garllura. A mix of garlic which Lance is obsessed with and your name."

Allura shrieked and pulled Pidge into a hug. "Aww Pidge. I guess I should tell you about Katino being on his way then?"  
Pidge gasped and hugged her best friend back. "I think they'll get along great! Maybe Hunk and Shay will have a kid soon so they can all be friends. Then we can all take turns babysitting."  
Allura glanced at Pidge. "Do you regret what you did?"  
Pidge sighed fully aware of what she meant. "If I hadn't killed Lotor there's no saying what could have happened. We may not have caught Honerva before she got past the great guardian. I have no regrets about doing what it takes to keep this reality Safe."  
Allura sighed and patted Pidge on the shoulder. "I should rescue Keith before something bad happens. Talk to you later Pidge."  
Pidge smiled back at her friend. "Can I call you sister," Pidge whispered.  
Allura smiled at Pidge. Her Altea ears heard everything. "Pidge you don't even have to ask. Of course you can."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just could not get over the idea of these two starting a support center for people with monsters as their soulmates. Hope you all enjoyed the ride. I've enjoyed reading all your comments.


End file.
